Saturday, April 17, 2010

hmm love and free-will

mmmm quiet....in my life that doesn't happen very often...even at night our "lovely" apartment building isn't exactly sound proof so there are always some sort of noises going on. but right now it's just quiet. Breck has finally settled down in the Wheeler's garage, polly is sleeping at my feet, sweet little E is sound asleep in her bed...the TV is turned off, no music is on, the busy day has come to a nice little halt....and as I thought about turning on the TV or watching something on the computer or listening to music I thought...I am around noise and hustle and bustle all day long, and so many times I wonder to myself why I have such a problem hearing God sometimes....maybe..just maybe..I'm not taking time to listen. Maybe I'm so caught up with HAVING to be busy that even when I have an hour to just sit in silence, I can't. So tonight silence it was. Silence and a WONDERFUL conversation with a dear friend countries away over the internet. Just what I needed to regroup from my weekend pity party and exhaustion...I finally kicked myself in the rear and got back on my feet. ...ok back to why I'm on here....
So...with all that has been going on and with knowing/hearing/seeing other people's stories too this whole "love" subject has sorta been just lingering in the air for some time now. Our pastor happened to touch on it awhile back while going through genesis a little more in depth than I ever had heard. This whole idea of "can we know love without knowing first hurt, pain, loneliness and shame?" Trying to answer that question everyone asks at least at one point in their life of "if God loves us...or if God loves me...then this would not happen, there would be no hunger, innocent people would not go through pain, there would be no trials, or struggles, families would not fall apart, people would not kill other people...etc." Ever since I heard our pastor talk on Genesis that night I have thought a lot about this and it has come up several times in this whole "community" search as well and what it is we need, look for, expect, in community.
I still don't think there is an easy "answer" but I do think there is an answer that can put, at least me, at ease a little.
When God created he created giving us free will. which can be a subject full of debate....personally I see no debate worth having...we are either robots with no feeling or we are free to make our choices and truly live. not sure who would pick robot....
I'm gonna try not to go to in depth cause I could go on for pages....
We are created with free will right? the freedom to make our own choices, right? Well isn't it true that every choice you make influences someone else? (those who say that your choice is your choice and takes no effect on anyone else are completely naive or in total denial). Even down to which brand of cereal you buy at the grocery store...it influences someone. Now take all the hurt in the world....every situation really is due to someone's decision. Corrupt government leaders, criminals, abusive relationships, etc. These peoples' decisions influence those around them...unfortunately the innocent are usually the ones who hurt from the decisions. Well here is the thing...they are free to choose the right thing to do...they don't, but they did have that decision to make. Just like every one of us has a decision to do the right thing every day. God doesn't "make" things happen to inoccent people, He may allow because he created with the freedom to choose...but He also feels. God hurts when His children hurt. He cries right along side you...but there is where the love thing comes in. Can we know love without hurt? Think of it like this...can you really appreciate something, without first having gone without it? Or having seen someone else go without? God loves us so much He gives us opportunities to confess, to come to Him, to choose to accept His love and to choose to love back. Love is a choice, In the garden after Adam and Eve had sinned they covered themselves and hid. Well as we know you can't hide from God...yet God still went along...calling out, saying "where are you"....He gave them a chance to come forward. Just like a parent..even though they know their child has just hit someone...still asks..what did you do? It's a teaching moment..and why do parents do that? Cause they love their kids...why does God do that? cause He loves us...He WANTS us to make the right choice, He gives us that chance. We wonder why God allows bad things to happen to good people...think about your life...have you ever lied to someone? gossiped? said something mean to someone? You hurt someone....You made a choice, the other person didn't yet they paid a price. That is the beautiful messiness of free-will. Without free-will we may not have orphans or hunger, but we also wouldn't have people who love enough to stop their own lives, travel across the world and bring families to those orphans, feed those hungry, touch a hand that no one else will touch....give someone love who had never felt love before...and in doing so share the overwhelming un-changing love of God. Without free-will, pain or hurt...we would have nothing to live for, no purpose, no story, no way of touching lives or being touched by lives. What kind of a life would that be? We can choose to love, we can choose to obey, we can choose to trust, and we can choose to walk in faith when "bad" things happen..knowing that this is not the end..a God who loves us enough to walk through the trials with us, hurting alongside you has a place prepared where there will be no more of the suffering....why? Because He loves us. Who else would be willing to send their perfect son to go through so much pain and suffering so that we may have life? Would you?

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