Saturday, January 8, 2011

another year

It's been awhile.

I've been meaning to do the whole "New Year" post, reflect over the past 12 months, talk about how amazing this journey has been, yada, yada, yada. Honestly, the journey has been amazing....amazingly hard. There is so much to reflect over that it would take me a two week, shut in a cabin by myself, vacation to reflect and process. God truly has given me a full life, of which I am so undeserving.
I do feel like it is time to give a good update and a slight reflection on this past year (or year and a half...cause it all blurs together).
14 months ago I was living in a new town, new state, trying to make new friends and new connections....working lots of new "glamorous" jobs such as, putting together furniture at 4am in the snow. There were lots of "news" for me. Along with that came lots of "I want to give up" moments. 14 months I sit at my regular Starbucks table nodding a hello to the other regular Starbucks goers writing emails to my new friends and working on some future ideas. All things that 14 months ago I would never have thought I would be doing.
I struggled for almost a year wondering why God had brought me here, why I hadn't been thrown into my dream job, wondering what the plan was going to be. At the same time being so excited to see what it is, because deep down I knew it was nothing that I could come up with. Sure enough it wasn't....not even close to anything I came up with.
So in a nutshell....the last year equals the following:

  • Got new puppies
  • started a job with someone I have admired for a LONG time (yes Angie, I really was a blog follower) a job that didn't make me give up my passion for missions and photography.
  • started working with youth again and be reminded of how much the youth in our society have the potential to change the world
  • moved out of our first (ghetto) apartment into a house
  • full-filled my dream of traveling to Hands & Feet in Haiti...only to fall in love and wait anxiously to get back
  • started the brainstorming process and making connections for a ministry project that has been on my heart
  • Met people I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever meet and then have them bless my socks off
  • and am finally heading back to the country I love so much...Guatemala
....just to name few of things that were included in the year

I am constantly in awe of how God just pieces things together, connects things that should never have connections, nudges me out of my comfort zone so I can discover more passions, forces me to face fears and be the person He created me to be. So this is where I find myself this awe. Waking up everyday having to make the decision to let God use me, to let Him love me, despite my flaws and lack of confidence. So that I am able to experience the incredible adventure and plan He has for my life. I am trying to contain my excitement and not get ahead of myself this year...but to just walk at the pace He wants me to walk, turn the directions he wants me to turn.

That is my reflection on this past year....and my thoughts on the one laid out before me.